Being a court reporter is hard - especially when you have to keep a straight face in the middle of a trial or deposition. Disorder in the American Courts compiled real quotes from actual court proceedings for our reading pleasure. Read on for a few of our favorites!
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
A: I only have one, you know.
Q: How old is your son? The one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long as he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reebok.
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
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